Fact: you will always be notified of an audition the moment after eating something covered in cheese.
They send you DVDs in the mail of the nominees for the SAG Awards. Guess who just turned into a puddle for 3 hours over Les Miserables in the privacy of her own home?
I wanted to call this 13 “blogolutions” or “vlogolutions” for 2013, but that just felt really dumb and so now you’re just getting regular old resolutions. Deal with it, it’s the last slight I’m dealing you in 2012.
1. Post more pictures.…of myself, my apartment, New York, Cincinnati, and everything in between. I made this blog solely with the intention of pushing myself to create and I intend to do a lot more in 2013.
2. Get in shape. I got a headstart on all those “resolutioners” that will be clouding up the gym in the next 2 weeks, but I am pledging to actually stick with it. I bought a yoga mat and everything.
3. Dress. Cooler. I don’t mean be all materialistic, but it’s about time I stopped looking like an explosion at the mall. I have really good taste when I actually take the time, and I miss being that in tune with my personal style. Maybe this blog will even be a little more fashiony…
4. Finish Improv and start Sketch at UCB. I had the biggest blast during Improv 101 this past fall, and I know that it’s what I need to be more successful in the long-run.
5. Post consistent videos and blogs. I have this
awfultypical blogger habit of disappearing for like a week and then just showing back up like I’m a treasured show on NBC. You all deserve better, and I’m going to commit this time.
6. Travel. I haven’t left the country in almost 4 years, and I haven’t done enough continental travel. I will change that. I have some plans to see some friends around the world this year.
7. Learn how to eat. I am not an invalid. I know how to eat. What I mean is learn how the right way. I don’t really know how to cook that many things, and I either go long periods forgetting to eat, or just eat based on whatever chocolate craving I’m having. No more. Me and this body need to get all sympatico.
8. Read even more. In 2012 I vowed to read more, and I have. Sure, doing Tipsy Book Reviews incentivized reading, but I actually really like reading. All that time spent on the subway and in cabs doesn’t have to be spent worrying about what that smell is. I can actually just get lost in stories (but not so lost in stories that I get robbed).
9. Create a web-series. It’s in the works. I just need to work out details like equipment, shooting schedules, and casting. I have a good feeling about it.
10. Make my bed. I always envied those people that would give up an extra 6 minutes a morning to make their bed. I plan on doing that gym thing before work, so maybe it won’t be so hard to do it if I commit to…
11. Go to bed earlier. I’m at this lucky stage in life where my only commitments are my living situation and my job. That’s a great place to be. I need to stop convincing myself that anything good happens after 11pm on Wednesdays and work on actually getting enough sleep.
12. Pay down my debts. Student loans? Yeah, they’re a bitch. This year I’m committing to actually getting rid of a few of them. I want good credit. I want all those adulty things that go with good credit. It’s time to get it done.
13. Meet loads more interesting, amazing, wonderful, complicated human beings. (yes, that photo is Shannon from CoffeyChat) New York is huge. ENORMOUS. I think it’s harder to meet people because of it. I’m going to do it though, I’m going to meet more people who are doing what I want to be doing, and I’m going to learn everything I can from them and hopefully give them some love in return.
Happy New Year. Big Kiss.
I always ignore these sorts of questions because I feel like no one really wants to know the answer. It’s the kind of thing you ask somebody because you’re anonymous on the internet—and because you can.
But, oh grey anonymous head, I’mma answer this shit today.
Do I like porn? I’m not really sure. For me, porn has always been too abstract. I have a pretty good understanding of sexual intercourse thanks to Cosmo magazine and sex-ed courses and oh hey, I did attend college.
But unless the porn is silent and just people getting it on, I don’t see what the point is. And I guess I’m basing this on my not too deep encounters with video porn. Like, I don’t understand why you would ever need to have an in-depth plot line. Bikini Cave Girl was just an expensive project that featured some doggy-style sexing. Why were there costumes? Why on earth would there need to be a time-travel element to the porn? I don’t have a dick, but it would have been flaccid the first time the cavegirl came to 2003 and knocked on the door.
And this is totally an over-generalization, but the majority of people in porns I find to be on the unattractive-to-average side of people in the world. Oh sure, you can put breast implants on a moose, but I personally am mostly attracted to a person’s face, body second. So I don’t really get the whole giant titties on a yeti thing… The dudes are always hella average.
As an industry, I think it is pretty honest. People will always pay to see fucking, and you can always find someone to do it on camera—so the business model is pretty solid.
So, I guess no, I’m not the biggest fan. I mean, is that a little weird? Sure. I’m not disgusted by it, I just get overly logical. My imagination takes care of the work for me when the mood arises. If porn is your jam, I’m not judging.
I had too much wine. Like, it was insanely potent. Which makes my insane mother’s Oscar observations too much.
I can’t take it. I can’t physically keep up with the laughter. I might pass out from a lack of oxygen.