We were in a Goodwill in Kentucky and we were in the plate section, even though she swore up and down she’d never buy plates from Goodwill. Anyways, that particular day she comes up to me with a plate and says, “Shit, Kilah. They have the plates where when you drop em they don’t break.” and she handed it to me, and told me to feel the weight, but I wasn’t convinced. So she threw it on the ground. And it shattered.
And we ran out of the Goodwill so fucking fast, oh man.
I understand that Crocs are the RoseArt crayons of shoes. I get that they are completely socially unacceptable and that the only people who can be forgiven for wearing them are Doctors and others in the medical profession. I even get that this preamble to what I’m about to tell you only reiterates the narratives about how horrendously unattractive these shoes are—but I’m defending my Crocs.
Wake up, everyone! Crocs have evolved. Sure, that weird mascot of a Croc person wearing Crocs is horrifying, but if you don’t get the shoes that look like a duck bill, you’re doing okay.
I wasn’t joking…
Once upon a time, in a land called “Orlando,” I worked part-time as a server at Coronado Springs (a resort at Disney World).
I bought some really crappy shoes to serve in, but quickly realized that insoles weren’t going to fix this situation. Enter: The Crocs outlet.
Orlando is known for outlet stores. What? You didn’t think Disney was the only game in town, did you? Anyway, the Crocs outlet carried tons of shoes for $20 and under. Comfort and inexpense? I mean, I get it, the big clunky clog Crocs are horrible, but they are for doctors and nurses and lifeguards. They do, however, make less conspicuous styles that are decent for every day. They are comfortable. COMFORTABLE! Like literally “floating on air” comfy.
So I am now a Crocs believer. I walk a boat load in NYC, and while looking adorable is always top 10 on my daily goals list, not wanting to punch a hipster in Brooklyn because I can’t walk any further is also right behind it on that list.
How do you feel about my ugly shoes? Have you ever worn Crocs?