This is a true story. It sounds ridiculously unbelievable, but I swear to you it is as true as true gets.
I decided to go towards Times Square for lunch today. I work like 4 blocks from it, but it was too hot to walk in the crowds, and I honestly didn’t feel like getting a sweaty face before I had to go to an interview this evening. As I descended into the feverous 7 train platform, I realized that (a) oddly no one was around and (b) someone was screaming for help.
I didn’t exactly run towards the screaming. My instincts have always been all about self preservation, so I half-heartedly walked over to make sure the danger wasn’t approaching me. I found a young 20 something girl standing with a crushed up iPhone in her hands, on the train tracks.
ON. THE. TRAIN. TRACKS.
Just a bit of back-story, the 7 train comes and goes roughly every 5-6 minutes. Why anyone would ever get on the 7 train tracks is a mystery to me. The G train typically has 15 minutes between trains, so at least it’s more than enough time to ponder getting on the tracks, work up the nerve to get on the tracks, get on the tracks, and then get the hell off the tracks.
Anyway, she was hysterically telling me that she couldn’t pull herself back up. Of course that was the time I heard the rumbling of the train approaching. She had about 35 seconds to get out of there, and luckily I and all my biceps (joke) and upperbody strength (another joke) was there to save her.
So I laid down on the unforgivably filthy platform and helped pull her back up. She rolled onto the platform with about 15 seconds to spare. In that 15 seconds, I told her that her crushed up cell phone was not worth dying over, and that if I hadn’t shown up, what would she have done? Just gotten killed because she wanted to play angry birds? UGH!
In hindsight, I probably could have been nicer, but between the platform being overheated, my body having to make contact with easily one of the germiest places in the entire world, and exerting myself more than I ever would want to, I couldn’t muster up enough sympathy. She thanked me and ran up the stairs crying, and I decided I was not hungry anymore.