smoothiefreak:

Forced to talk to cretins on Tinder and OkCupid? Maybe watch this first.

Greatest Story To Ever Happen in 2013.

So my buddy at work was looking over his okcupid profile, and enlisted my help in responding to a girl. I wrote up something witty that might inspire her to put on pants and brave the cold to meet him for a drink.

We then got onto my account so I could show him all the weird messages I get. I go to the second page of messages, and he’s like “OMG I MESSAGED YOU?!”

He hit on me before I even worked here. Best. Ever.

Even better, I didn’t respond. HA!

I like to call this the: Tell Me Something I Don’t Know

Oh, you read my profile? Great. When I said I was taking improv, you should definitely proceed to tell me all about a subject I obviously must know something about. What? Asssscat3000? The most popular show at UCB? No way!

Oh, and I read Nietzsche? By all means tell me about a quote you saw on a movie about him. Don’t even suggest anything additional at all.

I would like to write a book about every man who has come incorrect on okcupid. 

Smooth move, guy. Way to bring up your mom in your initial message.

EVERYONE GO SUBSCRIBE TO KYLE, IT’S OUR NEW COLLAB CHANNEL CALLED Lowered Expectationz.

78% match on OkCupid. Yeah, I’m creepin. Yeah, he needs to find me.

"Guys with girls in their okcupid pictures. It’s like, "that bitch is gonna be a problem.’"